The Madness of Queen Celia
by Dis-Moi
Summary: What could be more stressful than planning a wedding while preparing for the arrival of a baby? Doing both those things while trying to figure out why Celia is being more of a handful that usual, of course. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters are just borrowed and will eventually be returned to their rightful owners, the BBC, Red Productions and Sally Wainwright.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: What could be more stressful than planning a wedding while also preparing for the birth of a baby? Doing both of those things while trying to understand why Celia is being even more of a handful than usual. Caroline already knows it's hard to be part of the sandwich generation but now it looks like she's not just the cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich but in a panini-that's a sandwich that is grilled and pressed. Carpe Diem, Dis-Moi/Nolathree

* * *

"Hiyee," Caroline said into her mobile phone. She was in the kitchen, fixing breakfast for Kate as Gillian called. They were planning a quiet day since Kate was so close to her due date and Lawrence was with John for the weekend. "You're calling awfully early. What's up?"

"Yeah. Sorry to call so early but I think there's a problem with Celia. Something isn't right," Gillian began.

"What now? " asked an exasperated Caroline. "She's been nothing but a ball of complaints lately when she's here. Is she the same over there?" Caroline let out a deep sigh, thankful that Celia had been in Halifax for the past few days as she needed a break from her constant negative chatter.

"Have you noticed something's different with her lately?" Gillian was biting the skin around her thumbnail, concerned about how this conversation was going to go down with Caroline.

"Honestly, I've been too busy to see much of anything between work, and the prep for the baby and the wedding. Why?"

"It seems to me that she isn't quite herself. She's been saying things and on deeper reflection, most of it just isn't right."

"I don't know what you mean." Caroline decided to switch from making tea to a pot of coffee. If she had to unravel the mystery that was the inner workings of Celia's mind, she knew she was going to need the strongest cup of coffee possible.

"She told me a few days ago that she thinks Kate hates her because she didn't give her a Christmas gift. But I remember her giving her your silver baby rattle and I remember watching Kate open it and thinking how great it was."

"I remember. I heard her complaining on the dance floor that Kate came back to the reception so I had some sharp words with her over the phone as we headed back to the house on Christmas Day. I made it very clear that if she didn't make Kate feel welcome, she'd lose out. I think that's why she made that gesture. Actually, I know that's why," Caroline explained.

"So you agree, something doesn't add up," Gillian asked.

"No, it doesn't as I know she got the message loud and clear that day and promised to accept Kate and the baby. What exactly did she say about Kate?"

"That she isn't going to let her see the baby because she didn't buy her a nice present for Christmas. None of it made sense and we couldn't reason with her. After she went upstairs to change I asked me dad where that came from and he said he had no idea but that the other day she started accusing him of being no better than your dad and running around on my mum and now her."

"That's insane."

"Precisely. I haven't heard her accuse him of running around but you know those two are always together, unless he's down the pub with Harry. And since Harry is an original member of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club I know they're not out catting about."

"Wow. This is all so strange, even for her. Can you get your dad to have them come over here for a few days so I can see what's what?"

"Will do. Sorry to drop this on you but I thought you should know. Something's just not right." Gillian was relieved to have an excuse to get them out from under her feet for a few days. She was worn out from having to walk on eggshells around Celia and was more than a little concerned about what the daft woman would come out with next.

Kate entered the kitchen right as the call was ending. Her robe was flapping behind her as she moved because she hadn't tied it closed. "Hey there, you look lost in your thoughts. Everything okay? I thought you were going to rejoin me upstairs."

"That was Gillian, just now. She called about Mum. Said she's talking nonsense," Caroline said as she moved to wipe down the counter.

"Like what?" Kate inquired as she brushed past her to put her water glass she brought down from her nightstand into the sink.

"I'm not sure exactly. Gillian just said that she's accusing Alan of running around on her. And, I'm sorry, I don't mean for this to sound the way it will, and I certainly don't believe it and neither does Gillian, but she's been saying you won't let her see the baby when she's born because she didn't give you a Christmas gift. This is just crazy."

"I never said any such thing! She really is a piece of work!" After noticing how concerned Caroline looked, Kate softened her words. "Alan, with other women? I don't know how he has the stamina for her with his heart condition."

"No, something's clearly wrong with all this. I suggested Gillian get them to come over for a few days so we can see for ourselves. How about we make dinner for them tonight and just see how she behaves? If I know my mum, we can't confront her on any of this, but in time it may reveal itself."

"Why don't you call her and tell her we want them to come for dinner tonight. That'll give us a chance to see how she is," suggested Kate. "I'll defrost a couple pork tenderloins to make tonight and we can have the leftovers for sandwiches this week."

Caroline wrung out the dishrag and placed it in a spot to dry before moving to Kate and putting her hands inside her robe to embrace her. As she held her close, she whispered in her ear, "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you but I adore you more than words can say. Let's go back upstairs and enjoy our last few hours of peace before the Buttershaws descend."


	2. Chapter 2

After their lie in, Caroline headed to her office to do a little work to try to get her mind off her mother. When that didn't help, she decided to look at Celia's facebook page to see what she had been posting, hoping there might be some clue as to what was really going on with her. All she found were innocent statements like how she hadn't been sleeping well of late and something about her moving into a drafty the old farm house that had damp in her bedroom.

By dinnertime, Caroline was a ball of nerves from worrying that her mother may have finally gone around the twist. The thought saddened her as she had never seen Celia happier that she'd been since she reunited with Alan. She was also worried that Celia would say or do something to offend Kate. From everything Gillian had shared during the phone call, she was afraid Celia had lost her filter. With a final kiss for luck and a fervent request that Kate not take anything Celia might say to heart, Caroline opened the door to welcome the Buttershaws back home.

For the first hour or so, everything was as normal as a dinner with Celia could be. The wine flowed, the pork was perfect and the conversation, as usual, was all about her and Alan and their time at the farm. When the plates were empty, Caroline suggested Celia help her carry them to the kitchen and keep her company while she did the dishes. She sent Kate and Alan to the living room to enjoy the fire. Before their company arrived, they agreed Kate should try to hear from Alan what he was experiencing to help them get a better measure of what was happening while Caroline got Celia on her own and tried to draw out of her what she could.

"How are things really going Mum? How's married life?" Caroline asked while scraping the plates into the garbage disposal before stacking them on the counter.

"Why? What have you heard?" Celia was perched on a stool at the counter, swirling the dregs of the wine in her glass. She stood and reached for the wine bottle and served herself the last bit of it.

"Nothing. I just haven't seen you alone to catch up in a while and I've missed you." She carried the stack of dirty plates to the dishwasher and started loading it.

"Well. How have you been? Are the plans for the wedding all set? We never got around to talking about it at dinner."

"Yep. Invitations are out. I just need to find a dress. How about you? Have you figured out what you're wearing?" Caroline picked up the empty bottle and gave it a look as she tried to mentally count how much her mother had imbibed over dinner. She then placed the bottle in the recycler and turned back to the sink.

"Alan sent Gillian and me out to shop the other day and I found a hat and a dress. Now I just need to find some new shoes. I was hoping you would help me with that."

"I'd love to. Glad to hear you and Gillian are getting closer."

"She's good company, when Alan's out running around." Celia took a sip of her wine and looked up at Caroline who stopped cleaning up and moved to stand directly across the counter from her.

"What do you mean? Like when Alan's down at the pub with Harry?" Caroline spoke softly, trying to draw her mother out.

"Oh, you think that's where they go? They've got you fooled, too." Celia didn't mean for that to slip out but the wine had her feeling a little loose.

"I'm lost Mum. Where do you think they go?"

"Well, I just discovered that Harry's running the local sex club and he's asked Alan to join because he wants to use our car to help him attract women."

Caroline turned and looked down at the counter so as not to make eye contact with Celia as she tried not to laugh. When she finally looked back at her, she noticed that Celia had a little tremor in her left hand.

"How have you been feeling lately Mum? It looks like your hand is shaking a bit."

"No, that's just me. It falls asleep so easily lately and I'm just shaking it to wake it up."

"What else is going on? Are you having headaches?"

"Not really. I'm just not getting as much sleep lately as I have to keep an eye on Alan to make sure he doesn't slip out with Harry after I go to bed. Sometimes my lack of sleep means I have a bit of a headache the next day."

"Mum, I'm concerned. How about I make an appointment for you to see the doctor and see if we can get that issue with your arm addressed at the very least? I want to make sure that when the baby comes you're able to hold it."

Celia bit her tongue. She wanted to ask Caroline when Kate changed her mind about letting her see the baby but she didn't want to upset Caroline by making her think she was attacking Kate. Caroline started focusing on loading the dishwasher and suggested that if she could get a mid-morning appointment she would take her shoe shopping afterward.

Kate, in the living room with Alan, was making great progress getting him to divulge some of the nonsensical things Celia had been saying lately. The most shocking tale was the one she said to him on the drive back from Halifax. She told him to not look in the windows of the main house because the last time she did, she saw Kate and Caroline having sex on the floor of the hallway. The timing of the incident was when Alan knew they were at Sulgrave so he knew it had to be false. If he had any concern it had been true he never would have shared it with her.

Kate sat back, looking totally bowled over. "Oh, Alan. How are you putting up with all this?"

"She has her moments. Some days she's absolutely fine and then the next, it's just a waterfall of crazy and I find the bottle of shampoo in the refrigerator. In the beginning I thought it would pass but I'm not so sure anymore. When I challenge her that the stories can't be right she gets very defensive so I'm learning to just roll with it."

When Caroline finished loading the dishwasher, she moved to her mum and gave her a hug, telling her that she should be sure to get some sleep now that she's back in Harrogate as she and Kate would keep an ear out for Alan to try driving off to meet Harry. It seemed to work to pacify Celia and they joined Alan and Kate in the living room to say goodnight.

As soon as the Buttershaws toddled off to their apartment, Kate joined Caroline in the kitchen and they compared notes. When Kate got to the story about how Alan was warned not to look in their windows, Caroline went crazy. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry, eventually opting for laughter.

"I've got to call Gillian. Do you mind?" Kate shook her head as Caroline picked up her phone.

"Well, they just left. She was fine when we were all together at the table but when I got her on her own in the kitchen it was a shit show. Some of the crazy just fell out. How can she seem so fine one minute and then off her rocker the next?" Caroline sat up a bit and Kate shifted in her seat to give her a little more room. She had never quite seen this side of Caroline before. She'd seen her angry and concerned about things Celia had said and done she but never saw her this scared and protective about her mother.

"So, what did she tell you that was crazy?" Gillian took a sip of her wine. She was on the couch in front of her own fireplace; she was enjoying having the place to herself for the first time in days.

"She informed me that Harry apparently is running the local sex club and he wants your father to be a member so he can use him for his chick-magnat car, " she replied. "But then there's the one Alan shared with Kate. Did she tell you not to look in our windows?"

"Oh, is this the one about you and Kate having it off in the hallway?"

"Yup. What are we going to do?"

"Well, for starters, if I were you and Kate, I'd be sure to close my drapes," Gillian responded dryly.


	3. Chapter 3

After the call the Gillian ended, Caroline went to join Kate who was enjoying the comfort of the sofa in front of the living room fireplace. She had needed something softer than the kitchen stool to sit on so she left Caroline to her conversation with Gillian. Caroline had poured herself some cognac before joining Kate. After wordlessly plopping down beside Kate, she swirled the dark caramel-colored liquid and inhaled it's bracing scent before taking a long sip from the snifter. "Sorry, after the exchange with Mum in the kitchen, I needed something stronger than wine. Do you mind?" Caroline put her snifter down on the coaster on the coffee table and turned to face Kate.

"Not at all. Wish I could join you," Kate said as she stroked her tummy and felt the baby respond. After a few seconds, she reached over and took Caroline's left hand and placed it on her tummy. Caroline silently maintained eye contact with her and smiled at the subtle reminder that no matter what was going on with Celia, there was still so much good in her life.

"Poor Alan! She's really gone round the bend from what he shared," Kate eventually remarked.

"I believe what I heard from her isn't even half of what she's been saying. I have no idea what we're in for next with her," Caroline responded. "It's just so sad. This should be the happiest of times for them. I honestly think something medical is going on. I got her to promise to see the doctor if I can get her an appointment tomorrow." She gazed at the fire wistfully.

"What do you suspect it is?"

"I don't know. She seems so normal one minute but then she's completely delusional the next. I mean, she's always been a little out there but what I heard is so far gone I don't know what movie was shown on that fight." She was full of sadness at the realization that Celia might be more unwell than she was prepared to face. "First thing tomorrow I'll ring the doctor to see if I can get her in to be seen. I don't know what else to do."

"Poor Celia," Kate said with a measure of defeat in her voice as she pulled Caroline even closer to her. Kate knew all to well from her father's struggles how tough times could get for Celia and the rest of them having to cope with her. "Just let me know what I can do to help."

All her worries temporarily melted away with the understanding that Kate was willing to help carry the burden that was Celia. When she was married to John, he only half listened to her when she needed him and he never helped her shoulder any of her troubles. It was no wonder she always felt so alone in their marriage. She wondered what she ever did to deserve to have Kate in her life.

"It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Why don't we have an early night," Caroline suggested.

* * *

Caroline had trouble sleeping. She tossed and turned all night, replaying her mother's delusions in her head as she tried to make sense of it all. By about 6:30 am, she went downstairs to make some tea and do a little school work so she wouldn't feel so guilty about taking a couple of hours off to escort Celia to the doctor.

As she went outside to get the newspaper, she heard a noise in the back yard and went round to investigate. She found Celia sitting in a chair with a cup of tea on the table beside her and a cigarette burning in her hand. She was rolling it between her thumb and index finger, looking at it intently while tapping her foot to the music she had quietly playing on her mobile.

"Mum? What are you doing out here at this hour?"

"Oh Caroline, you startled me! I couldn't sleep."

"Mum…are you...smoking?"

"You caught me. Yes, I found this old pack tucked away in a drawer and decided to have one. I think they might be left over from Kenneth as this was his brand. They taste awful."

"I've never seen you smoke. What…why…are you...alright?"

"I'm fine. I was just sitting here watching the sun come up, thinking about the last time I smoked. It was with your father just before I learned I was pregnant with you. You know, I never tried one until I dated your father. My mum always said it wasn't proper for girls to smoke and I was always too afraid of her to try one before your dad."

"Did you smoke much with him? I don't remember seeing him smoke."

"No, we agreed to quit when you were conceived. It's one of the few promises we made that we actually kept. We agreed that he could smoke if he was out with the boys but not any other time as we didn't want you to see us and pick up the habit."

"I can't believe you're smoking."

"I was really just taking a trip down memory lane. I use to love how sometimes at the end of a really good night he would light two cigarettes and hand me one. We'd sit close together and share the details of our day. Our life together back then seemed so perfect. But, just like the cigarette smoke as it rose above our heads and dissipated, our happiness vanished too."

"So you're sitting out here thinking about my dad?"

"I'm really sitting here thinking how fragile everything is," she said as she put out her fag. "Look at that tree. It looks so big and strong doesn't it?"

Caroline considered the old tree; its bare branches stretched out against the late winter sky were beginning to be lit up by the early morning sun.

"Notice the woodpecker hole up there," Celia said pointing to an opening in the upper third of its trunk. Caroline had never noticed before. "That's not a healthy thing for a tree. And look at those mushroom like growths on it. Those are signs it's dying. I'm guessing some of those limbs won't sprout leaves this spring. It looks so big and strong but as the seasons change I'll bet you will see you're going to have to take it down before it breaks and falls. You don't want it to hit the house. You think trees just get bigger and stronger the older and taller they become but that really isn't the case. Sometimes they just get weaker, just like people."

"Oh Mum. What made you spot that?"

"As I was sitting here, watching the birds flitting about among the trees, I started to think about what it must be like to touch the sky like they do. Then I started to notice the tree limbs as the birds danced among them." Caroline hadn't seen her mum being so introspective in a long time and she didn't know whether to be impressed or even more concerned.

"Well, I think it's too cold to stay out here. Why don't you give me those old cigarettes so I can throw them away? Come inside with me; I'll make you some fresh tea and some toast."

"I think I'll pass. I want to go pick up the newspapers and then make some breakfast for Alan. He'll be getting up soon," she said as she looked at her watch. "I'll see you later."

* * *

As soon as the local surgery opened, Caroline called to secure the first available appointment for her mum. She drove Celia to it and insisted upon going back into the examination room with her; she wanted to make sure that the doctor got the full measure of the delusions she heard the night before.

Thankfully, as the appointment progressed, Celia took the bait Caroline was chumming in the water and repeated some of the things she said to her just hours before. The doctor, at the end of the diatribe, gave Caroline a knowing look. An MRI was scheduled for later that same afternoon as there had been a cancellation. As they were leaving the MRI center, the attendant told Caroline to return to the surgery so the doctor could discuss the test results with them.

They had the last appointment of the afternoon so the doctor met with them in his office instead of in an exam room. He sat casually on a corner of his desk as he talked to them. He was trying to be as matter of fact as he could be so as not to scare them too much as he delivered the news that they discovered Celia had suffered from a series of small strokes called TIAs. Because of those TIAs, he suspected that she was suffering from some mild vascular dementia. It explained her delusions, the numbness in her hand, her headaches and her difficulty sleeping.

When Caroline questioned why the delusions seemed to be related to sex, the doctor explained that the blood flow to the pleasure center of her brain seemed to be the most affected by the TIAs. He wanted to send Celia to meet with a neurologist to confirm the diagnosis and talk about treatment options. Celia instantly denied that she was having any issues and said she only agreed to go along with the testing and doctor visits to appease her daughter.

The doctor escorted them back to the waiting room where their coats were now the only ones left on the coat rack. He pulled Caroline aside while Celia said goodnight to his nurse. He tried to reassure her that although there was no known cure for vascular dementia, there were some medication options that could help Celia lead a normal life. Hearing that Celia could still have many good years ahead of her gave Caroline a some comfort as she looked up at the barren trees outside the doctor's office on the way back to her Jeep.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is the final chapter for this story about Celia. It's been on my computer for a bit but this is the first I've had time to clean it up and post it. Thanks for all the great reviews and support. This story's been a little personal as I had to help some elderly relatives settle into a retirement home because of issues similar to Celia's. What it showed me was the importance of boarding the Arc two-by-two and the key is knowing how to time it right. That's been the theme behind this little tale. Here's to the comfort of having someone with whom to hold hands when you venture out into the world. Carpe Diem-Dis-Moi.

* * *

Caroline sleepily stumbled into the kitchen to ready Flora's bottle, her precious baby cradled protectively in her arms. Before Flora arrived, she detested seeing this hour of the morning. Suddenly, it was a favorite part of her daily routine. She contentedly settled into the armchair, warmed bottle in hand, and smiled down at Flora as she began to feed.

Caroline and Kate had fallen into a pattern where Kate would take the middle of the night feed and Caroline would get the one just around five am. That afforded Kate a little extra REM sleep. Had Kate been able to breastfeed, Caroline likely wouldn't have had this alone time with her, but neither baby nor the newly minted mummy had taken to it, despite all their valiant efforts. After several days of tears, Kate quietly admitted that she was no longer feeling like a failure on that score. Caroline's constant reassurances that she too hadn't managed it with either of her boys and they had turned out strong and healthy helped when Kate's self-doubt crept in.

"For someone who once told me she didn't want to be a mum again, you look very happy," Kate said quietly as she breezed into the kitchen. "Penny for them."

"Hmmm. Morning you. What are you doing up?" Caroline looked up from Flora and gave Kate a watery smile, trying to keep the emotion out of her expression.

"Our bed was suddenly cold and empty." She turned the kettle on before turning to rest against the counter across from her wife and child. She paused to take in the now common sight she thought she'd never see in those long days and night when she was wallowing alone during her pregnancy.

"You haven't taken my offer so am I to assume a penny isn't enough for your thoughts?"

"Just thinking how she's like a quiet little bird when she feeds. She opens her mouth just enough to take the bottle as soon as she sees it. The boys would howl until they made contact with theirs and then they'd gulp it down so quickly I worried they would choke; but not Flora. She seems so content, even when she's hungry." Caroline removed the now empty bottle and wiped the drops of formula that had collected under Flora's bottom lip. She handed her to Kate to wind as she moved to the sink to rinse out the bottle.

"I use to think 'content' was an ugly word," shared Kate. "Whenever I felt content before it meant I needed to stretch for something more or it meant that I stood a chance of losing something precious if I started to take it for granted."

Caroline could tell Kate was in one of her introspective moods and decided to roll with it, despite the early hour. "And now?"

"It's a good word. There's a certain peace to it, but it still makes me nervous. Despite Celia's health, there's been more drama free days strung together since her birth than we've ever had but I worry the other shoe is about to drop," Kate responded as she stood to place Flora in her bouncy chair and turned it on to vibrate to soothe her before turning back to fix the cup of tea Caroline set down on the counter for her.

"Ha. I know what you mean. Our wedding went off without a hitch. Flora managed to arrive almost on schedule and without much fuss. And now, Mum and Alan are about to move to their apartment at the retirement village. Maybe our luck has finally started to take a turn for the better."

"Shhh. Don't jinx it," cautioned Kate with a smile. "At least with Celia the meds seem to be taking hold."

Celia saw the specialist and began her course of medication without much delay. No one was more relieved than Alan that the regime gave some relief to his wife's condition and she brightened quite a bit. He enjoyed having his wife back to some extent but wondered how long it would be until the meds weren't strong enough to keep her dementia at bay.

Caroline and Gillian spent a great deal of time with their heads together trying to come up with a solution to cope with Celia's condition in a way that supported both their parents. Alan joined in some of those discussions when Celia would nap. Kate's experience with her father proved useful but it was still a different situation as back then there were no medications and almost as soon as his condition was named, he needed a care home. It was decided that the sooner they found a retirement home the better as it would give the Buttershaws a chance to enjoy it before one of them needed skilled care.

Caroline and Kate's having to cope with Celia's delusions helped cement their relationship even more than they realized. On some cellular level, it made them bullet proof when Celia would let the odd gay slur fly in their direction. It happened less and less now but could still unexpectedly happen when she was being particularly feisty.

"I know. I wasn't sure how many more conversations I could tolerate about her delusions. I mean, I understand the doctor telling us to talk her through them rather than try to talk her out of them but really, how many times do we really need to talk about sex with her? Why couldn't her condition have hit another part of her brain than the pleasure center?" Caroline gave a little involuntary shudder as she spoke. Even on her best days before the strokes, Celia's behavior could be cringe-worthy. But after, some days it was more than she could handle, let alone having to do so with a straight face.

"She can be quite entertaining. I just feel sorry for Alan that he's had to put up with some of those outrageous allegations. Imagine him being a sex addict in his mid 70's. Mind you, I won't mind if you are at that age," she said with a smug, self-satisfied grin.

Caroline moved to her wife. "Just to be clear, if I am at that age, I won't be running around with the local sex club like she thinks Alan is, understood? I'll save it all for you."

"Hmm," Kate replied as Caroline leaned down to land a soft kiss on her upturned lips. "I'll take that as a promise."

"All I can say is 'thank God for Alan'," Caroline said after a beat. "He's been so supportive of us from the beginning that I don't mind as much having to help him with her when she has her…whatever they are."

"At least it's happening less and less and they found a place they like," Kate said. "Did you meet the people in the flat next to theirs? Think we should warn them about her?"

"Tom and Diana? I think they'll get on just fine with them but it's not our place to warn them. Alan can do that if he feels the need. I wouldn't want to embarrass Mum like that. She seems to really understand how to contain talking about her delusions in front of others. I'm just worried about that Harvey guy if she lets anything fly. He seems to be utterly lacking people skills. Not good for an administrator in place like that."

"Ha. He reminded me a little of Basil Fawlty. I pity him if he ever crosses you. My sense is you'd wipe the floor with him if it ever came down to a battle of wits," Kate said as she noticed Flora had been lulled back to sleep by her seat. She flipped the switch to off to save the battery and stop it from vibrating. "Yeah, Bay View won't know what hit it."


End file.
